Love—
At some point, you give into it and let that euphoric
feeling get to you. It feels so darn good and unexplainable like scribbled ink
on a soft blue paper… The ink however, bled in my case. It turned what used to
be the softest blue into the darkest
shade of gray.
When you’re inexperienced with love, it’s always going to
be hard—hard to let them go.
It all started with that cheesy feeling. You know? That
feeling where you like someone? I’ve felt it several times, but this one was
different. I gave in because—because he felt worth it. I’m not kidding either,
just so you know; I’m not an easy person who gives in. I made it very hard for
him to get that close to me. His persistency eventually made me loosen up. And
before I even realized it, I was letting him into my world.
Having someone worry to an extreme extent that they’d go
crazy or hold you like the world is going to end… It’s an amazing thing. I never once thought that I’d actually fall for it. Fall for him.
Everything was going pretty well; until things started to go downhill.
Our relationship was quickly reaching its peak and it was
that breaking point where you get so fed up of their decisions, the way they
act, or even the smallest thing they did in the beginning that never annoyed
you. It’s that breaking point where you
decide if things were meant to be or not be. With so much making up and
breaking up, I pulled the plug and thought I could let go after all the shit I’ve
put up with.
You know how they say: if you truly love someone, you let them go
so they can find their way back. Well, this has erupted a new cycle of the
most fucked up thing ever.
I don’t know what defines our
relationship any longer.
Friends? Possibly.
Lovers? Can’t deny the feelings.
Strangers? What the world sees.
All the efforts I’ve put in a
last trip has ruined my pride and sense of right and wrong. The bleeding ink is
beginning to dry up—
The reality is… I’m holding onto
something knowing that things won’t be the same again. It leaves me satisfied
momentarily, but at the end of the day, I’m lonely. And being lonely has never struck me in the worst way in my life.
